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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27199294">Crazy over you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeseven/pseuds/beeseven'>beeseven</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GOT7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coming Out, Getting Back Together, I will add more tags as we go, M/M, Photographer Jaebeom, Troubled Relationship, actor youngjae, artists 2jae, daily relationship, yes exactly what they are</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:22:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,551</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27199294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeseven/pseuds/beeseven</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“God, shut up. Just tell me to leave if that’s what you want,” Youngjae almost yells but he can still mind his image. He just waits for whatever Jaebeom will say next. </p><p>“You come here and act like an entitled asshole, so yeah, I want you to leave,” Jaebeom is probably a little high too but Youngjae knows he means what he says. </p><p>He holds his tears, that’s not the first time Jaebeom says something like this to him but Youngjae will make sure that it will be the last. </p><p> </p><p>Or Jaebeom and Youngjae have gone through way too many breakups but they always found their way back together. This time though it has to work. One last time, they are decided this will be the last time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Let's go home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefCYJ/gifts">DefCYJ</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi Ju, i'm gifting it to you because i felt like i wanted to appreciate you somehow and that's the only way i know how to, i hope you will enjoy it &lt;333</p><p>edit: i changed the title sorry if someone read it before but yeah. this is bc of bp song :) me likes it and maybe it’s fitting</p><p>this is not angsty it's just a couple trying to make their relationship work out :)))<br/>if u read i hope u can enjoy it</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Youngjae’s biggest mistake was to let his friends know that he was done with the filming of his new movie. Of course, he didn’t think it would be a problem, it should be something good since he has been so busy with the recording he barely had time to hang out with any of them in the past months. Or to do anything really, even think properly. Now he had enough time to think and to see all his friends but he didn’t want to do either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, Youngjae wanted to hang out with his friends but not like they usually do. Not all of them together at once. Youngjae didn’t want to tell that to Mark but sure his friend knew him well enough to know that was the problem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have the movie to use as an excuse anymore, so go dress into something nice, I will wait,” Mark commanded as if it was already decided and Youngjae had no option but to go with him. “Come on, Youngjae, I’m waiting. Move,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Youngjae stood at the other corner of his living room while Mark lied on the couch as if he owned the place. All his friends were like that, but tonight Youngjae was not in the mood to deal with it. “I’m not going, I’m really tired and… tired,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? That’s all you got?” Mark asked in a mocking tone as if Youngjae being tired wasn’t enough of a reason for him to be left alone. “Dude, go dress, seriously. Jaebeom won’t be there, he has a thing with his old classmates from uni, a reunion or whatever,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has a-- I mean, so? I don’t care if he is going or not. I just want to stay at home,” Youngjae crosses his arms pretending to not care, he was an awful liar though. It was clear in his voice how curious he was about Jaebeom not going out with them, and it was also clear that the other man was the only reason stopping Youngjae from accepting going to the bar with his friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is really annoying, you know?” Mark now sounds serious and he even sits up to look straight at Youngjae. “We are a group of friends, we've always been and every time we have to go through this is the same bulshit. Now, he really isn’t going tonight, so can you please stop playing this game and go change already? We haven’t been all together in months,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Youngjae doesn’t bother replying, he lowers his head and goes to his room so he can wear something warmer and that doesn’t make him look cheap. He thinks bitterly about what Mark says and about the fact that even though Youngjae agreed, wordlessly, on going to the bar it still won’t be all of them together because Jaebeom won’t be there. Youngjae didn’t want Jaebeom to be there, that was really what he was scared about, but still, it feels weird for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It feels really weird, because even though Mark acts as if nothing happened Youngjae can’t shake the feeling after the way the other spoke to him. And once they get to the bar and he sees his four other friends he feels even weirder. Youngjae feels bad because the last time they were all together, really all of them, he and Jaebeom were still dating. It has been months ago and even though he would see the boys separately it wasn’t a lot and never like a group. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would always see Mark and Bambam the most, even though he knew no one picked sides, they had decided it was a waste of time a long time ago. Youngjae couldn’t help but feel like that was exactly what was happening, Jinyoung was Jaebeom’s best friend so of course, he would pick his side. But Youngjae was very close to him as well, so he felt left out. It was probably something his mind came up with on its own because everyone seemed more than happy to have him there with them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all celebrated when they saw Youngjae and Jackson kept hugging his sides whenever he got the chance, he even bought a gift for Youngjae as a way to congratulate him on the movie. Everything was the same between them, but someone was missing and Youngjae was restless not being able to look past it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In all the months he spent in different moving sets, living in travel trailers, Youngjae was too busy to realize how much one person could be missed. Not that he didn’t know Jaebeom would always make a hole on his chest whenever they were apart, but he wasn’t living his normal life, he was working nonstop and it was different. It was enough to distract him. Now being back to reality and seeing all his friends and not having Jaebeom there was making Youngjae sick. And it wasn’t the alcohol doing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know where it is this reunion thing Jaebeom is having?” Youngjae whispered to Jackson that was still glued to his side. Again, Youngjae knew they weren’t allowed to pick sides, and they also weren’t allowed to give information about one of them to the other. It was a rule. And no matter how drunk Jackson already was he wouldn’t just forget about it. “I just want to know,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Needed to know, but Youngjae wouldn’t humiliate himself to that extent. Jackson looked at him with pity eyes as if he was the one asking a favor and not the other way around. “I really do not, baby otter,” his words were a messy mumble that Youngjae had to concentrate hard to understand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked to his other side and there were Yugyeom and Jinyoung betting on some flaming shot. They were at a bar that only served shots, they had all the kinds one could imagine, it was really impressive. And at this point, everyone was pretty much wasted, but Youngjae wasn’t. His initial plan was to get shit faced but he felt wrong doing it. The more he considered his options, the more he realized Jackson was his only hope. Jinyoung probably was the one who knew where Jaebeom was, but he would never tell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t you find out for me? Please, Jacks, I will buy you the best gift you can imagine on my next trip,” Jackson loved gifts, he loved to give but also to receive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friend looked at him then down at the shot that was in front of him and downed it quickly. He took his phone and Youngjae had no idea what he was up to ‘till he heard the next words that left his friend’s mouth. “Jaebeommie!!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you--” Youngjae freaked out trying to get his phone from him but Jackson pushed him off with his arm. He was drunk but was still as strong as ever. The younger boy looked around to see if any of his friends could see the commotion between the two, but the table was a mess as it was. They were not making it worse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Youngjae tried to make Jackson shut up and give him his phone as hard as he could but not even one minute later Jackson was already hanging up. Youngjae doubted Jaebeom had understood anything the other boy said but then Jackson looked up at him with a smirk and wiggled his brows, showing up his phone where Youngjae could see a text from Jaebeom. It had the address where he was and nothing else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wondered what exactly Jackson said to get the information since he couldn’t hear his friend well but right now he didn’t care. So, maybe Youngjae was a bit drunk, or at least tipsy to not even second guess his decision before taking Jackson’s phone and texting himself the address. He didn’t even think twice before kissing Jackson’s cheek and leaving the bar without a word to any of his friends. He doesn’t believe they noticed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Uber driver wouldn’t shut up all the way to their destination, Youngjae didn’t want to be rude but he wasn’t in the mood for small talk either, he was busy rethinking all his decisions. Also, he usually wasn’t a person that would engage in conversation with strangers like that anyway. He hopes the man doesn’t recognize him or tomorrow he will be reading about his rude behavior. Not that it matters right now, the place where they are going to is too far away and Youngjae is losing both his temper and courage. He is about to tell the man to just leave him there in the middle of the street. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the GPS announces they are five minutes away from their destination. Youngjae doesn’t know whether to be grateful or to freak out. He doesn’t do any, he just sits there in shock, and these five minutes are the faster ones in Youngjae’s entire life. When he finally gets out of the car he just stands in front of a big place that he doesn’t know what to call. Well, it’s probably a house but it’s so trashed Youngjae can’t call it that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s full of people even in front of it, and it’s no better than a highschool party or a frat party. Except for the noise, it’s not as loud as a teenager party would be but it’s not that quiet either. Youngjae would give up if he hadn’t had the trouble to come here already. So, he just walks to the door, before he can get in though a girl stops him with a sly smile on her lips. She has half of her hair pink and the other half is super black, her face full of piercings, and even though she is smiling she doesn’t seem all that friendly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is your name on the list?” She asks but it’s as if she knows that Youngjae’s name is in no damn list. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My boyfriend is inside, so I guess I have more than my name on something,” he doesn’t have a problem calling Jaebeom his boyfriend, he has done it his entire life. It would be weird to call him anything but his boyfriend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Youngjae gives her his fakest smile, the one anyone with a brain can tell it’s fake. Which is a dumb decision because it only makes things harder for him. “But is your name </span>
  <em>
    <span>on the list</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she says which of the last words slowly as if talking to a kid or better yet to a dumb person. “If your name is not on the list you can’t come in, this is an exclusive event,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exclusive to whom? Pretentious adults with a film degree that act like babies that know better than everyone else?” And as much as the words annoy the girl they also annoy Youngjae, he is just wasting his time here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly, and since you seem to be just an asshole without the degree you are not allowed to get in, now move away from the line please,” she says lastly, not looking at him anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There is no line, it’s just Youngjae standing in front of her and it’s not like she can stop him from getting in the place. Youngjae looks at her one last time then he pushes his way inside the house, he can hear the girl yelling after him and he knows she would be able to get to him since the place isn’t too crowded. But he doesn’t think she even tries. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside it’s just something bizarre, not bizarre in a Halloween way but in a hipsters way. There are screens on every wall some bigger than others, all of them playing old movies and people are actually drinking wine and watching it, even though it’s impossible to make out what it’s being said on each screen, all the sounds being mixed up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the living room, at least what Youngjae will call the living room, there are the biggest screens and in all of them there are videos of the universe, the sky, the galaxies, Youngjae doesn’t know exactly he just knows that there are stars and planets. And these weirdos are watching it as if it is the most interesting thing in the world. He now remembers why he hated when Jaebeom would insist on him hanging with his college friends. Remembers why he could never befriend any of Jaebeom’s colleagues. Even though Youngjae worked in the same area as them, they are just in another level of weirdness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He almost forgot why he was there in the first place ‘till he saw Jaebeom lying on a large green bean bag with two other people. A boy and a girl, they are watching the damn planets and for some reason laughing as if there is anything funny about it. Youngjae feels his blood boil, maybe it’s still the shots because his face is also burning. He is also pretty sure the smell of weed is starting to make him high, not that he knows if that is possible but he will believe so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a weird mix of sensations and jealousy on Youngjae’s body that he can’t explain, is also the fact that this is the first time he is seeing Jaebeom in seven months. His heart is about to break free and run to Jaebeom itself. They never went so long without each other, without even seeing each other. Youngjae doesn’t know what to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure enough, he came here with the pretense of arguing with Jaebeom because he left them to hang with his other friends. That was his best excuse but now it wasn’t convincing not even to himself. The rational part of his brain was telling him to leave, to not do anything to make things worse between them but his emotional part, the one that was terribly jealous has always been stronger and was having none of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Youngjae walked through the people lying on the floor, he tried to apologize because he would step on someone once in a while but they didn't even seem to care. Once he finally got to Jaebeom, he could only stare for a few seconds. The way he was sitting way too close to these other two and how they seemed to be having fun. Youngjae was ready to snap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go home,” he said, not too loud but loud enough to be heard. He doesn’t even know where this came from, he is demanding, but he doesn’t care, he wants Jaebeom to leave with him right about now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom looked up from where his eyes seemed to be previously locked with the other guy and then he was legitimately shocked seeing Youngjae there. Some people were complaining about Youngjae standing there in front of the screen but he couldn’t care less, he could feel his entire body shaking and it was not because he was being yelled at. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said, let’s go home, Lim Jaebeom,” he repeated his words this time a bit more strongly, and that snapped Jaebeom from whatever trance he was in. He disentangled himself from the other two, the girl had her legs over his lap, Youngjae noticed bitterly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaebeom didn’t say anything, he just left the living room and Youngjae followed closely. They went to the kitchen, the only place easy to identify and without any screen. It just had bad lightning but was full of drinks so it’s a bit more normal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Youngjae,” Jaebeom finally said once he turned around and they looked at each other. Now they can see each other under some kind of light and it’s even worse than Youngjae imagined it would be. It’s like when he was fifteen, maybe it’s even worse he can’t tell. But he thinks this was a bad decision, for sure it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…” and then there is nothing to say, not really, so he goes to whatever comes to his mind. “Who were those people all over you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? This is the first thing you have to tell me after seven months?” Jaebeom’s words are cold like ice, Youngjae didn’t expect him to be happy that the boy showed up like this but still. “Oh no, wait, that wasn’t the first thing, the first thing was ‘let’s go home’. What home do you mean, Youngjae? You mean the place we were supposed to move in together but I’m the only one living there? Or do you--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, shut up. Just tell me to leave if that’s what you want,” Youngjae almost yells but he can still mind his image even though he is sure no one here knows who he is. He also doesn’t make any mention to leave just like he said he waits for whatever Jaebeom will say next. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You come here and act like an entitled asshole, so yeah, I want you to leave,” Jaebeom is probably a little high too but Youngjae knows he means what he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He holds his tears, that’s not the first time Jaebeom says something like this to him, not the first time he tells him to leave. But Youngjae wants to make sure that it will be the last. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This was the last time I reached for you. I’m never doing it again, ever,” Youngjae turns on his heels before he can start crying like an idiot in front of his ex. They aren’t even dating, they have had a bunch of terrible breakups and Youngjae rarely cried because of them. Maybe because they never stayed away from each other for too long, but this time they did. And Youngjae just missed him so much to be told to leave like this and for it to not hurt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He makes his way out, this time he pushes everyone out of the way without caring for apologizing. He doesn’t care for these people, or for Jaebeom. Youngjae doesn’t want to ever see him again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Outside is way easier to breathe, the night is cool and Youngjae can feel his lungs breathing better. He can also feel the pain better. He calls for an Uber that is just a few meters away but it’s making a lot of turns to get there. Youngjae wants to cry out of frustration. He just needs to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go home,” he hears Jaebeom’s hoarse voice in his ear, arms hugging his body tightly, too tightly for Youngjae to be able to do anything but leave a heavy sigh escape his body. He can’t hold his tears anymore. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Satin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Nora!” Youngjae yelled startled before he could even open his eyes, the pain traveling from his big toe through his entire body. When he finally does open his eyes is to find the bed filled with cats and to Jaebeom’s sleepy face giving him an apologetic smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t know how to react, he doesn’t even know how he knew it was a cat biting his big toe even though he was asleep. He just knew it was a cat and that he was here. And even though he had only been to this apartment when it was still furnitureless everything seems so familiar to him, it was kinda weird. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They are hungry, sorry it’s past their breakfast time. I’ll be right back,” Jaebeom tells him softly, dropping a kiss to his temple before leaving his side, making Youngjae’s heart go crazy in his chest. Just now realizing why the feeling of familiarity was so weird to him. Because it wasn’t familiar anymore. Getting kisses on bed wasn’t something Youngjae was used to get anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaebeom almost falls off the bed trying to get past Youngjae and the five cats that had planted themselves there. He is totally naked and he doesn’t even bother to dress into something before he leaves the room with a line of cats behind him. Youngjae stares at his back for a long time before he looks down at himself, he knew he was naked so no surprise there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boy goes through the events from last night just to make sure he isn’t missing anything. He went after Jaebeom at the stupid party, they went back to his apartment together and then they went to bed. Yes, nothing else happened, he is sure of it. So, they aren’t back together. Every time they break up is a hot mess, and they always have sex without exchanging many words or having an actual conversation about what happened, that’s how they get to be a couple again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If this time they didn’t do as much, Youngjae doesn’t know if he gets to act as Jaebeom’s boyfriend again. He supposes he doesn’t. Maybe sleeping together, not doing anything just in the same bed, could be considered as progress, but he is sure they are not dating just because of this. So nothing really changed. Jaebeom did kiss his forehead and his cheeks when they went to his room and he cuddled Youngjae up but that wasn’t enough for him to know where they stood. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few minutes lost in thoughts, Youngjae snaps out of it walking to Jaebeom’s closet in order to find something to wear. He was as shameless as Jaebeom, but he wasn’t feeling so comfortable walking naked in the other’s apartment. Youngjae saw maybe a few too many clothes that belonged to him but he wasn’t going to wear any of them, it would be like acknowledging the fact that they were there and he wasn’t going to do that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, he got a black satin robe that definitely did not belong to him, it was so short on him that Youngjae wondered if it belonged to Jaebeom or to someone else. He wanted to take it off right away when the thought crossed his mind, but then he changed his mind. It was comfortable,the touch against his skin made him feel good. Maybe a little too revealing but well he slept naked so he didn’t think it could be worse than that. Also, it’s not like he isn’t trying to do something here. He wants Jaebeom to see him in this thing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Youngjae walked into the living room hugging himself feeling a bit too cold, the apartment was very spacious but Jaebeom kept it simple with the furniture. Minimalist he would probably say, but for Youngjae it looked empty as if he barely tried. Jaebeom was standing in the middle of the room looking at the direction of the cats but his eyes were lost as if he wasn’t even seeing them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Done feeding the kids?” Youngjae said softly as he got closer to Jaebeom not knowing exactly how close he should get. And just like he thought the man hadn’t seen him coming, but when he finally looked at Youngjae his cheeks got red in a split second. He couldn’t stop staring at Youngjae and then he remembered the robe, Jaebeom was looking at him as if he was about to eat him alive. Good.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess it’s weird that I’m the only one all naked here, right?” But he didn’t take his eyes away from Youngjae’s thighs, even when the boy agreed with him he didn’t go dress. So, the robe probably was his, Youngjae doesn’t think he would have this reaction if it was someone else’s. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should go dress on something then,” Youngjae helped and Jaebeom nodded at him slowly, eyes finally meeting his own. But then he shook his head as if changing his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In a minute, yeah?” But Youngjae wasn’t even sure what he was talking about anymore, Jaebeom walked closer to him and it made his head spin. Jaebeom didn’t stand too close, he stood from a distance that could still look at Youngjae up and down, which meant Youngjae could also do the same. “It looks good on you,” he said at last. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then it was like his eyes were asking for permission, Youngjae didn’t do anything that could be considered as go ahead but he didn’t do anything to stop the other either. So, he guesses it was enough for Jaebeom to keep going. He took another step and then one of his arms found its way to the boy’s waist. The noise Youngjae made was pathetic. But no one could blame him when he hasn’t been touched in any way in so long. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It seemed to pleased the older boy, as he looked up at Youngjae and smirked. It was distracting but not distracting enough for him to not notice Jaebeom’s hand going down ‘till it stopped on his ass. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are we--” he could finish his sentence, Jaebeom put his other hand on his thigh going up just enough to lift the robe a bit, not quite exposing his cock to the cold air but close enough to it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you want,” Jaebeom gave back, his fresh breath hitting the boy’s lips. “That’s why we are here, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But that wasn’t. Youngjae knows that once they have sex they will go back to being in a relationship. And even though he was disappointed when they didn’t do it last night, he was also aware that when he decided to go after Jaebeom at the party it was just because he was jealous and missed the other like crazy. He wanted to make things right this time, not to just jump into things. It was very hard to keep those thoughts straight with Jaebeom’s hand traveling up closer and closer to his cock. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, Youngjae nodded when he meant to do otherwise. He didn’t get a chance to correct himself before Jaebeom was attacking his mouth with his own. They always kissed like that after fights, like they needed to prove something with their lips. With Jaebeom pressing their bodies together, making sure there was no space between them, and with his tongue exploring Youngjae’s mouth as if they had never kissed before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was used to being kissed like this, but it has been so long his entire body was reacting to it. Of course, he was past hard already, he could feel that Jaebeom was too, his hardon pressed against his waist. But what was really messing with him was the way his entire body was shaking, he felt like he would melt on the other’s arms. Youngjae missed Jaebeom so much, he still misses him. They are making out and all Youngjae can think about is how much he misses Jaebeom, how much he loves him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Youngjae needs to breathe, his brain needs oxygen or he will pass out soon enough. He wants to pull away, he also wants to look into Jaebeom’s eyes and tell him how much he loves him. But Jaebeom won’t let him. His tongue works Youngjae’s mouth so desperately, making it so sloppy that any other time he would be bothered by it but when it’s like that he doesn’t care. He likes it. Youngjae likes it when they are so desperate they don’t care about anything else but each other. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it is really a question of time for his body to give up on him, he knows Jaebeom is the one keeping him up by now. He breathes fast when Jaebeom finally moves his mouth from his lips to his neck, Youngjae would be grateful but even with the change it is still difficult to breathe properly. Jaebeom is leaving open-mouthed kisses on his neck, they are too wet, Youngjae keeps moaning, his eyes closed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He is pulling at Jaebeom’s hair, the longish part on his nape, it makes Jaebeom moan into the kisses as well. Just then Youngjae hears a loud meow, he can’t do much about it, he can’t even comprehend what it means, his mind too fogged. But then he hears it another two times and it’s enough for him to remember where they are and what they are doing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Youngjae tries to push Jaebeom but the hold he has on him is too strong, the attack to his neck is also getting worse. Jaebeom knows he isn’t supposed to leave hickeys, this is something they’d always get into fights about, he would forget and then Youngjae would complain about people noticing it every time, every single time. Now, he really doesn’t care about it. But he cares about their viewers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jaebeom… stop,” he is able to manage but it comes out in a heavy breath, it doesn’t sound like he wants it to stop. So, Youngjae pulls Jaebeom harder by the hair and tells him to stop again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Something wrong?” Jaebeom looks at him, Youngjae is distracted by everything. His pupils are so dilated, the boy is surprised he can form words at all. His face is also all red, his hair is a mess, but what really makes Youngjae go crazy is the way his lips look sore, they are swollen and abused all because of how hard they’ve been kissing. Youngjae almost forgets what is wrong in the first place, all he wants is to kiss those lips again but then another meow comes accompanied by some weird noise and he really can’t do it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know-- you know, I don’t like doing it in front of them,” Youngjae tilts his head in the cats’ direction, and when he looks they aren’t really paying attention to them. They are playing or trying to kill each other, Youngjae can’t tell the difference, still, he hates knowing they can watch them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaebeom looks at them as well, but it seems like it’s really hard for him to focus on anything. There is no reaction, just his loud heavy breaths. Usually, he would rant about the cats not caring for what they do and not understanding it. Today he doesn’t even bother with it. Jaebeom kisses him again, not like before, just a quick kiss before he pulls Youngjae by the hand in his room direction. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The few seconds they take to get to the bedroom should be enough for Youngjae to think, to have a rational take on this. But it’s not like his horniness can go away so quickly just because they aren’t touching. Jaebeom closes the door behind them and then he pushes Youngjae on the bed. He is grateful for it, he knows he only got so far because Jaebeom was pulling him. Youngjae had no strength left in his body to do anything on his own. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, he just lies there waiting for Jaebeom to do whatever he wants to do with him. He has just two seconds to stare at Jaebeom’s body, nothing is different about it. It’s still the same, but it’s like Youngjae has never seen it before. Everything about it is so hypnotizing, he is pretty sure Jaebeom is the hottest person he has ever seen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaebeom definitely can notice his hungry eyes on him, but he doesn’t comment on it. He lies on top of Youngjae, going for a deep kiss as if they have gone too long without it. The boy whimpers when he feels the hard dick pressing against his own through the satin. The fabric is light and delicate but it’s already a lot of pressure for him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t help the loud moans that are leaving his mouth. Jaebeom is now too busy kissing from his neck to his chest. He doesn’t bother undressing Youngjae, he just pushes the robe out of the way in order to get more skin on display. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Youngjae would be embarrassed about how he isn’t doing anything to help, his entire body is glued to the mattress, he can’t even touch Jaebeom just feels him touching all over his body. But he can’t find it on him to care right now, and since Jaebeom doesn’t seem to care either he just enjoys it as the other’s lips go lower and lower. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaebeom parts the robe using his face, Youngjae thought he would take it off but all the boy does is press his face right over his cock. He breathes in and out over it before he presses a kiss to the tip. Youngjae feels his eyes becoming teary, it’s not that he cries during sex, and it’s not that he is emotional that they are together either. Is just too overwhelming. Too much to take in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He is so hard, he doesn’t remember being this hard in a long time. And he doesn’t even remember the last time they had sex, it was probably something so ordinary and unimportant, they didn’t know it would be the last time, Youngjae didn’t keep track of it. So, now every little touch is enough to take Youngjae to the edge. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaebeom starts slowly, he doesn’t seem to care that Youngjae is about to combust under him. He is like a master at blowjobs, at least for Youngjae he is. It has always been the two of them, they worked together in a way to learn everything they liked or not. So, when Jaebeom holds him in his hand and starts dropping kisses through the entire length he knows exactly what he is doing to Youngjae. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please--” Youngjae doesn’t mean it to come the way it did. But then he realizes he is already sobbing. Jaebeom looks up at him and nods, it’s like he lost the ability to speak a long time ago. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He finally puts Youngjae inside his mouth. It’s just a wet kiss to the tip, then another one, and another one that starts becoming deeper and deeper. Jaebeom is sucking him inside his mouth, just to take it out and slowly suck him in again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It shouldn’t be allowed for him to be so erotic about it, he is out of it, Youngjae knows he is doing it all on instincts, so it shouldn’t be this good and this hot. His body shouldn’t be shaking all over with each one of Jaebeom’s movements. Jaebeom uses his hands, jerking him off while his mouth is just softly sucking at the tip or it’s all the way down to his balls. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaebeom presses Youngjae’s cock to the flat of his tongue while he moves on the bed in order to get more comfortable on it. He is all pressed against Youngjae, and when he goes back to sucking the tip inside his mouth he starts humping on Youngjae’s leg, moaning pained with Youngjae inside his mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s more than enough for the boy to lose his mind. He can feel the wetness on his leg, it’s not the most pleasant sensation in the world but it’s so damn hot that Jaebeom is getting off on this. Youngjae closes his eyes tightly as he feels himself losing it and cumming in Jaebeom’s mouth. It’s so damn slow, Jaebeom sucks, swallowing it, Youngjae can only feel his cock leaving and entering Jaebeom over and over again at the slowest pace. ‘Till Jaebeom deep-throats him for the first time that day, right when he already cummed, the vibrations of his moans make Youngjae’s body shake even harder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He still has his eyes closed when Jaebeom lets go of him and kneels properly on the bed, he takes Youngjae’s hand on his own circling his finger on his hard cock. It’s enough for Youngjae to try and open his eyes again, he stares as Jaebeom jerks himself off using his hand. It’s so hot, he can barely move, but seeing his hand there with Jaebeom’s even though he isn’t putting any effort into it makes his blood boil in excitement again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t take too many more strokes for Jaebeom to cum all over their intertwined hands. He looks so beautiful like this, he really is the hottest person Youngjae has ever seen, but he is also the prettiest one. Even after they stop he doesn’t let go of Youngjae’s hand, he slowly lies down beside him, and just when it gets uncomfortable he lets go. Youngjae won’t say he isn’t grateful about it, he rubs his hand carelessly on the bedsheet, trying to get it clean. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then he turns on his side and kisses the corner of Jaebeom’s mouth, the older boy gives him a small smile and it’s probably his way to show he is still awake. He slowly opens his eyes as well and pulls Youngjae in for a proper kiss. It feels like they can’t get enough of each other. They are so tired, yet they kiss for a long time ‘till Jaebeom’s stomach makes a loud protesting sound. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess I should have some real food,” Jaebeom jokes, making Youngjae roll his eyes and then kisses him again. “I’ll make something for us. Are eggs fine?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you,” Youngjae replies instead, looking down into Jaebeom’s eyes as if trying to let the other see it in his eyes. He really loves him. More than anything Youngjae has ever loved, he loves Jaebeom so much it hurts to even look at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Youngjae feels so dumb for it taking him so long to come back. To do something about them. He guesses it was easy to ignore his feelings when he was so busy. But looking at Jaebeom now he knows he would end up here soon or later. He just hopes this means they are together now, that it wasn’t just sex. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you do, and I love you too but you don’t need to cry when I suck you off just because of it,” Jaebeom says seriously and Youngjae slaps his arm. The older boy laughs loudly, “I’m kidding. I missed you a lot too,” he concedes with another kiss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaebeom knows Youngjae missed him without him having to say it. It almost makes Youngjae cry again, the thought of them knowing literally everything about each other to the point Jaebeom knows how he feels no matter what. He feels so bad for the time they spent apart. But before he can say anything about it Jaebeom gets out of the bed moved by his stomach protesting again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time he puts on a white shirt and dark shorts. It makes Youngjae wonder if he stayed naked before on purpose. It doesn’t matter, he also dressed onto the damn robe on purpose. They are the same, really. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Youngjae considers staying in bed, but his body is too well rested, it feels like jelly but still rested. Even though he just cummed he can’t fall asleep again. He uses the bathroom attached to the bedroom, he finds his allergies medicine in the cabinet and takes one of them. He also changes, it makes it pretty obvious why he chose the robe but he doesn’t care for it, Jaebeom probably figured it out already. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even though his body was boiling just a few minutes ago, now Youngjae is back to feeling cold. He dresses in the grey sweats he finds and a large hoodie. What Youngjae means to do is to go to the kitchen, but when he leaves the room he sees Kunta hanging by himself near the room that Youngjae remembers was supposed to be Jaebeom’s studio. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boy walks on there, the door is closed and he isn’t sure if the cats are allowed there but he can’t help it. He slowly gets inside with Kunta following him closely. Just like he imagined this is Jaebeom’s studio, but it gotta be the messiest studio Youngjae has ever seen in his life. The thing is, Jaebeom isn’t messy and he keeps things tidied up. This looks nothing like his personal studio.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Youngjae takes a closer look at everything, the room is filled with pictures and frames, he notices there are pictures like those around the entire house, they aren’t many so he didn’t pay enough attention to them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a meow behind him, and soon enough he notices the other cats filling the room. If they aren’t allowed here Jaebeom will be really mad at him. And it’s making him anxious, afraid they will drop something or mess it all up even more since they start walking around stepping on the pictures. He is almost freaking out, feeling like he is doing something he shouldn’t and that he is about to get into trouble. When he hears Jaebeom’s soft voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, the food is ready...” Jaebeom stops at the door, staring at the room, and both of them freeze. “I was calling for you, didn’t you hear?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Youngjae knows this is not really what he wants to say. Not with the way his eyes keep running all over the room and going back to Youngjae. “What are all these? Are you working on something?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Youngjae kneels down so he can look at the pictures that lie next to him on the floor, he is still scared he is in trouble but he is just so curious. Even though the boy doesn’t check if there are dates on the back of the pictures, he knows they are new because he knows every picture Jaebeom has ever taken. Of course, he hasn’t seen it all, but he knows the places Jaebeom has been to and he knows the place he has photographed. There are some he can recognize but most of them he has never seen before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you?” He asks again when he gets no reply. Youngjae can see Jaebeom’s feet walking to him, so he looks up and has a better sight of the boy who then sits on the floor. The younger boy sits as well so he is more comfortable. He keeps looking at more and more pictures he can get his hands on without having to move, ‘till Jaebeom finally decides to say something. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes? I… hm. I’ll have a solo exposition soon,” the words take a few seconds to be completely processed by Youngjae’s brain. But when he gets it Youngjae almost yells, he doesn’t know what to do with himself, he wants to hug Jaebeom so badly, to kiss him again. So, he moves closer to the other and hugs as hard as he manages even though their positions aren’t the best. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? Oh my God!” He covers his mouth, then he reaches out again and squeezes one of Jaebeom’s hands. “I’m so happy for you! Your first solo exposition? Oh my God, why didn’t you tell me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaebeom’s lips that have just morphed into a beautiful smile go quickly back to a thin line. Youngjae can see worry all over his face, then it hits him that Jaebeom didn’t have a reason to tell him about it. They weren’t on speaking terms and no matter if they have spent their entire lives rooting for each other, he couldn’t just tell Youngjae about his exposition when he couldn’t even call him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not the way you are probably thinking,” Jaebeom says quickly, this time he is the one reaching out for Youngjae’s hand. “It’s not that I didn’t think of telling you. On the contrary, I wanted to tell you so badly but I didn’t know how. So I didn’t tell anyone, it’s just Jinyoung and my parents who know, I wanted to be the one telling you so I didn’t tell the boys,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Youngjae feels cold all over, his breath being taken away from him little by little. He looks down at Jaebeom’s hand over his and he doesn’t know what to make out of it. He can’t believe they have gotten to a point where Jaebeom had to hide something so important to him from his friends because of Youngjae. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so happy for you, but I...” Youngjae doesn’t know what to say. He wants to leave but he knows this is not an option right now. Still, he gets to his feet, feeling too uncomfortable sitting there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jaebeom manages once he gets up as well. He looks genuinely confused and Youngjae doesn’t understand how he doesn’t see anything wrong there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jaebeom, you couldn’t tell your best friends about something you worked your entire life for because of me. What the fuck is wrong with us?” And looking at Jaebeom’s confused face it’s impossible for Youngjae even worse, his chest getting tighter. “I don’t want that for you, I don’t want you to hide things,” and really he doesn’t. Youngjae loves Jaebeom way too much to have him hiding something like that just so Youngjae wouldn’t find out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You got it all wrong, love. Of course, I was going to tell them, but I wanted to tell you first,” Jaebeom pulls him towards his body and Youngjae doesn’t even try to stop him, now that they are together again is like his body craves for any kind of contact. “I just thought… I don’t know, it was weird between us but it never lasts. I thought we would get back soon so I’d be able to let everyone know on time,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You thought that?” Youngjae won’t act as if he didn’t think the same thing. They always get back to each other, even when they break up he never even looked at someone else because being with Jaebeom or not it didn’t matter to him. All that mattered was that they loved each other and would always belong together. “When it’s the exposition for you to be so sure you could wait?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In two months,” Jaebeom mumbles the words, it’s even harder for Youngjae to make them out this time but when he does he pushes Jaebeom so he can look at him rather than having their faces almost pressed together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You thought-- Jaebeom! You would have to tell them at least before they announced the dates, and you thought we would be together by then?” It’s a little romantic if he thinks about that, romantic that Jaebeom also thought of them always being together. But it was also so dumb, they didn’t see each other in months. “You do realize you didn’t even try to see me in the past seven months, right? Is not like you could be so sure of it,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Jaebeom pulls him in again, and again just Youngjae lets him. “But I was hopeful. Besides, it was important for both of us, not just for me. I couldn’t even imagine going through it without you. I knew you would be happy, and proud,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am. I am very proud of you,” Youngjae gives back with a small smile. But the truth is that Jaebeom is already living this without him. When he took all these pictures Youngjae wasn’t there, and when he got the news that he would have an exposition he wasn’t there either. Youngjae hates himself so much for that.  “And I’m very happy for you. I’m so, so happy. But I’m so sorry as well. I wish I was here, wish we had been together,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Jaebeom hugs him now, holding on to him with so much care. “It was both of us though, not just you,” he says and Youngjae knows that. He knows it wasn’t just his fault, but it doesn’t change how bad he feels. Because this time he was the one who broke things off, and he was the one always avoiding Jaebeom making sure they wouldn’t get a chance to even see each other. He was putting as much distance between them as he could, and now he regrets it so much. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t believe it cost Jaebeom celebrating something his solo exposition with the people he loved the most. “No, I’m really sorry. And you don’t have to say it’s okay just so I’m not hurt. It’s not okay and I can take it,” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But it’s really okay,” Jaebeom cupped his cheeks with both hands. “As long as we make it right this time, it’s really okay with me. I’m not mad and I’m not sad anymore, baby,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We doing it again?” As soon as the words leave Youngjae’s mouth Jaebeom is laughing. It’s not a long laugh but he actually looks amused by what he just heard. And it might sound ridiculous, but Youngjae has to make sure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think I would ever give up on us? Please, you know me better than this,” Jaebeom pouts at him cutely, Youngjae kisses his lips quickly just to make it go away. “What? You know I’d try as many time as we have to,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Youngjae knows that, and he would do the same. He would try as many times as needed because he can’t imagine living his life without Jaebeom in it. But he also doesn’t want them to live like this for the rest of their lives. Youngjae never wants what happened to happen again, he wants to be there for Jaebeom like he is supposed to. “But, we will really make it right this time, yeah? I mean, I don’t want to try a bunch more times. Let’s make it as if it’s our last chance,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Our last chance?” Jaebeom looks at him unsurely. “As in if we fuck this up we don’t try again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not-- I’m not saying I wouldn’t try again, but kinda? It’s just… if we do it every time thinking we get another chance we will never make it right, will we?” Jaebeom still doesn’t look sure about it, so Youngjae nudges his ribs softly. “Hey, I’m just saying let’s do our best, let’s not break up at the first fight. We need to take it seriously, because it’s serious,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” Jaebeom finally nods. He tucks Youngjae’s hair behind his ear, then he kisses the tip of his nose, it’s so simple but Youngjae missed things like that so much he almost gives up on their conversation so he can be kissed again. He is just so lost in Jaebeom’s soft expression when the other speaks again that it startles him. “We take this seriously and we don’t walk away,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Youngjae nods as well, he kisses Jaebeom because he can’t just not kiss him and he has been holding for way too long now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thinks they will be alright this time, usually, they don’t talk things out but this time it already started out differently. Youngjae believes they can make it work. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few more minutes of them making out, Jaebeom lets go of him to kick all the cats out of the studio, they aren’t allowed there. And takes Youngjae to the kitchen with him. The eggs are cold and oily, still they eat a lot. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaebeom complains about Youngjae accusing Nora of biting him when really it was Cake the guilty one. Then they get into an argument about Nora hating him, Youngjae doesn’t even believe it anymore, but he likes how worked up Jaebeom gets when he has to defend his oldest daughter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a bit unsettling how comfortable he feels there with Jaebeom. How it doesn’t feel like any time has passed with them being apart at all, but Youngjae knows it has. Way too much time for them to ignore it but just for now he does. He ignores all the things he should be trying to catch up to in order for them to spend the entire day in bed catching up on more important matters. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- i guess this could work as an end like it's very hopeful and all but i really want to write more for this fic.. and it will be like i already said just simple things... them making things work idk i wanna write it so</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>- what i wanted to say is that this is very very simple, like i want to use this to write their relationship together, like not falling in love or something slow but them already together and everything being a mess jgbhvfksd but with nothing being too much</p><p>- so anyways it will be simple, and not long chapters gonna keep it 3-4k promise also not a long fic</p><p>- it was supposed to be an oneshot but gays i wanna another wip lmao so yeah</p><p>(btw pls leave nice comments on youngjae's last ig post)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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